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Aaronic Priesthood Manual 3

Choosing an Eternal Companion

"Lesson 31: Choosing an Eternal Companion," Aaronic Priesthood Manual 3, 127

OBJECTIVE

Each young man will learn some principles to follow in choosing an eternal companion.

PREPARATION

SUGGESTED LESSON DEVELOPMENT

Introduction

Discussion

Choosing a Companion Has Eternal Consequences

Scripture and discussion

Read and discuss Doctrine and Covenants 131:1-4.

Chalkboard discussion

Explain that choosing a companion for eternity is an extremely important decision but is sometimes based on a very narrow understanding of love. A person who responds only to infatuation or romantic love might overlook many important qualities when choosing someone with whom to spend eternity.

Write the young men's answers on the chalkboard, such as-

Ask each young man to select what he thinks are the three most important attributes on the chalkboard. Take a vote to determine which areas the young men consider most important. Discuss why they voted the way they did.

Quotation and discussion

Compare the results of the vote with the following statement by President Spencer W. Kimball. Have a young man read it.

"We recommend that people marry those who are of the same racial background generally, and of somewhat the same economic and social and educational background (some of those are not an absolute necessity, but preferred), and above all, the same religious background, without question" ("Marriage and Divorce," in 1976 Devotional Speeches of the Year [Provo: Brigham Young University Press, 1977], p. 144).

Quotation and discussion

Explain that choosing a companion is a tremendous responsibility. President Kimball gave some principles that should guide our selection:

"In selecting a companion for life and for eternity, certainly the most careful planning and thinking and praying and fasting should be done to be sure that, of all the decisions, this one must not be wrong. In true marriage there must be a union of minds as well as of hearts. Emotions must not wholly determine decisions, but the mind and the heart, strengthened by fasting and prayer and serious consideration, will give one a maximum chance of marital happiness" ("Marriage and Divorce," p. 144).

Scripture and chalkboard discussion

Explain that the Lord gave Oliver Cowdery specific advice on how to combine his efforts with inspiration when making an important decision. Have the young men read and mark Doctrine and Covenants 9:7-9.

On the chalkboard list the answers given in the passage of scripture and by the young men. Then explain the following steps that might be involved in finding and choosing an eternal companion:

Timing for Marriage

Story

Relate the following situation:

Tim was seventeen and Kathy was fifteen when they became married. Their life together became very serious when their baby was born with a heart defect. Tim had to work two jobs, and Kathy spent many anxious hours at the hospital during two different operations on their baby. Both were relieved when the doctor found that the operation would give their child a normal life. But he would require extra care for at least a year.

Kathy watched her friends going to school as she hung clothes on the line. All Tim could see were hospital and medical bills. The future for him didn't include basketball or other activities, at least not the near future.

Explain that Tim and Kathy chose to marry before they were prepared spiritually, emotionally, and practically. It takes a certain amount of experience before we know who we are and who would be best for us. That is why teenage marriages frequently fail.

Point out that Tim and Kathy were aware of the obvious things they were missing because of their early marriage. But they had only a vague idea of some of the other things they might not have a chance for or would only be able to do later in life under different, and possibly more difficult, circumstances.

Chalkboard discussion

Record the young men's responses on the chalkboard. These may include-

Finding the Right Person

Story

Relate the following situation:

Upon returning from his mission, Bill felt pressured by his friends to get married. He enrolled in college and began his studies. Although Bill was interested in pursuing his education, his worries about getting married began to interfere with his studies. Night after night, Bill was on his knees asking the Lord to bring the right girl into his life. His prayers did not seem to be answered.

Quotations and discussion

As a part of the discussion, you might assign two different young men to read the following quotations, the first by President Kimball and the other by Elder Boyd K. Packer:

" 'Soul mates' are a fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price" ("Marriage and Divorce," p. 146).

"While I am sure some young couples have some special guidance in getting together, I do not believe in predestined love. If you desire the inspiration of the Lord in this crucial decision, you must live the standards of the Church, and you must pray constantly for the wisdom to recognize those qualities upon which a successful union may be based. You must do the choosing, rather than to seek for some one-and-only so-called soul mate, chosen for you by someone else and waiting for you. You are to do the choosing. You must be wise beyond your years and humbly prayerful unless you choose amiss" (Eternal Love [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1973], p. 11).

Point out that young men should not be looking for the right person but a right person, similar to themselves in religion, values, goals, and ideals.

Being the Right Person

Adviser presentation

Explain that happiness in marriage consists largely in being the right person. A successful marriage depends on each person's willingness to sacrifice and to put someone else first. Marriage can be the greatest challenge we have to test our own Christian ideals. But it can bring the greatest rewards in companionship, love, and happiness.

Chalkboard discussion

Write the young men's answers on the chalkboard, such as-

Conclusion

Challenge

Challenge the young men to establish a relationship with their Heavenly Father now that will allow them to someday receive personal inspiration in making a wise marriage choice. Remind them that when the time comes to consider marriage, they must continue to pray daily but not expect the Lord to do the work for them.

Challenge them to work now at becoming the kind of person they wish to marry. They should watch for daily opportunities to help and serve others and be close enough to the Lord to choose wisely in one of the most important decisions they will make.

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